


those nights.

by frostfall



Category: Avengers (Comics), Iron Man (Comics), Marvel, Marvel 616
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Jealousy, Minor Sharon Carter/Steve Rogers, Minor Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Not Canon Compliant, Tony Stark: Iron Man (2018)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:08:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26495398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frostfall/pseuds/frostfall
Summary: It doesn’t make sense to Jan. Steve should be inside, cozying up to his girlfriend. He should be here, trading jokes with Sam. He should be here, standing by the punch bowl to make sure no one spiked the punch.And yet, there he is, making googly eyes at her boyfriend.Jan takes a sip from her mocktail and wonders if this is what it feels to be Sharon Carter.
Relationships: Tony Stark/Janet Van Dyne
Comments: 18
Kudos: 43





	those nights.

**Author's Note:**

> My first proper foray into Marvel 616 and my first time writing Jan! Tonyjan has a special place in my heart and I've been meaning to write about them for a while now, especially after seeing the lack of fics for them. 
> 
> Since I wrote this a couple of months back, there aren't any spoilers for the new Iron Man run (Cantwell, you will answer for your crimes) and I haven't read anything from the latest Captain America or Avengers run so uh, just pretend whatever that's happening in there isn't happening here. And also, we will pretend that Tony Stark: Iron Man ended after Issue 4, shall we?
> 
> Title comes from [Those Nights](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eLittIRa8A) by Bastille.

Parties have always been one of Jan’s favorite events to attend. This one in particular, however, unsettles her.

Don’t get her wrong, she adores Steve Rogers. Even at his worst, at his most stubborn and self-righteous, there’ll be a part of her who unconditionally loves that stupid, stupid man.

But it’s hard for her to watch him around Tony, to take in the look of stark adoration on Steve’s face. Harder even to realize they've slipped away to the balcony to be alone, slipped away from Steve's birthday party.

It doesn’t make sense to Jan. Steve should be inside, cozying up to his girlfriend. He should be here, trading jokes with Sam. He should be here, standing by the punch bowl to make sure no one spiked the punch.

And yet, there he is, making googly eyes at her boyfriend.

Jan takes a sip from her mocktail and wonders if this is what it feels to be Sharon Carter.

It had been a miracle when Tony agreed to rekindle their romance, the one she had ended all those years ago. A part of her does regret breaking up with Tony then. She won’t deny that Tony was an asshole for dating her while keeping his identity as Iron Man from her. But she missed the crinkle around his eyes whenever he shoots those startling blues, missed the way he’d throw his head back and laugh like she made the best joke ever, missed _him_.

Being with Tony was, _is_ , different than being with Hank, Alex, or even Paladin. Being with those men was great. Fun. Oddly enough, dating Tony is easier and safer, but no less thrilling and fun. Tony has been by her side since they were kids. He was one of the few people who kept her sane when high society got the best of her. He was the one she could be herself around with, to kick her feet up and just be Jan and not the Wasp or a van Dyne.

With Tony, she didn’t need to compete with anyone. She’s his and only his.

Until now, that is.

She doesn’t know how it’s only hit her. Steve and Tony have been doing this dance for over a decade now. It’s no secret to everyone in the superhero community that Steve and Tony are hopelessly in love with each other. Idiots who haven’t acted on their feelings from the moment they met, who decided that dating other people is for the best.

Jan’s stomach plummets at that thought.

Is that all their relationship is to Tony? A way to forget? Did he choose to date her just because Steve’s with Sharon? Is this some twisted—

She pushes that thought away before her brain could finish it for her.

Tony wouldn’t do that. Tony’s a man who lets his love for people consume him until there’s nothing left but skin and bones. Tony has let so many people into his heart, only for them to trounce all over it. He has to have genuine feelings for Jan. He has to.

 _Well_ , she thinks, a little hysterically, _at least I don’t look like Steve. Been there, done that, and never again._

She pushes the stray lock of hair from her eyes and is about to turn on her heel when a voice stops her in her tracks.

“They’re at it again, huh.”

Jan shrugs her shoulders, not bothering to face the speaker. She could recognize that voice anywhere. “I think everyone sees it but them.”

Next to her, Sharon lets out a quiet snort. “Ain’t that the truth.”

Outside, Tony throws his head back in laughter. Steve’s grin broadens so widely that Jan’s surprised it hasn’t split his face in half yet.

For a long moment, Jan can’t tear her gaze away from the sight. It’s like being in a speeding car with no brakes, destined to crash and go up in flames. She wonders if that’s how their relationship is going to end – in flames.

God, she hopes not. She really hopes not.

Somehow her gaze has flickered over to Sharon. Surprise washes over her as she takes in how unbothered Sharon seems to be at the open affection between the men. It’s a big contrast to all those countless instances before. She’s seen the subtle discomfort and jealousy behind Sharon’s eyes whenever Steve went overboard with waxing poetic over Tony or at the way Steve lights up when Tony walks into the room.

Jan hates how she's in Sharon's shoes now.

“How do you stand it?” she says, startled at how quiet her voice is to her ears.

At first, she doesn’t think Sharon heard her, given the boisterous chatter around them. But then Sharon purses her lips and taps a manicured finger against her solo cup.

“It wasn’t easy at first, seeing him half in love with someone who isn’t me. And sometimes it still isn’t.”

“But?”

Sharon tilts her head to the side. “ _But_ I just try to tell myself that I’m the one Steve comes home to. That some people can love more than one person. That his love for Tony doesn’t lessen his love for me.”

Jan gnaws at her lip. Names and images of the women Tony flash through her mind. “I don’t think I could do that,” she admits. “Share him.”

“Well, it’s a good thing they haven’t done anything about it, then.” Sharon pauses. “Look, I know Tony can be shit at communicating, but really, you have nothing to worry about. I’ve seen the way he looks at you, heard the way he speaks about you. He loves you. Really loves you. Seriously, take it from someone who’s dating a guy who’s also shit at communication.”

Tony’s rolling his eyes, elbowing Steve playfully. Steve returns the gesture with a light shove, his grin still plastered on his face.

“I know he does,” Jan says. “It’s just that sometimes I…” She exhales. “It’s hard. Sometimes.”

Sharon nods, humming before flashing Jan an empathic smile. “Yeah, I know the feeling.” She drains the last of her drink, sighing. “C’mon, let’s go and drown our insecurities in food. Jess brought some donuts from the bakery near her apartment and apparently, they’re to die for.”

The rest of the party passes in a blur. Jan does what she always does at parties – talk, laugh, catch up with everyone. And it’s nice, really, seeing and speaking all her superhero friends in a more relaxed setting.

And yet, there’s still that part at the back of her head, whispering. Nudging. Persuading.

“Hey,” Tony says, sidling up to Jan when Carol’s whisked away from her side. “You’ve been pretty quiet the whole night. Something up?”

Jan musters the best smile she can, cursing mentally for Tony’s perceptiveness. “It’s nothing. I’m just tired.”

Tony’s eyebrows knit together but fortunately, he doesn’t push for answers. “C’mon, let’s get out of here then. I’ll drop you off at your place.”

“But Steve—”

“Steve will understand.”

_Will he though?_

Steve has always been a terrible liar, always wearing his heart on his sleeve (which Jan supposes is what makes him a great Captain America). Even when he walks Tony and Jan to the door, grinning warmly as he thanks them and bids them goodbye, she can see the shuttered look behind his eyes.

The immature part of her preens at that.

Sharon might have a point. As transparent as Tony is of his affections for Steve, Jan’s the one he’s going on dates with. Jan’s the one he chooses to kiss and make love to. Jan’s the one he calls up to talk about everything and nothing with.

Jan’s the one he’s been in a relationship with for months now.

And yet, Jan can’t help the self-doubt clawing in her head, desperate to consume her.

“I love you,” she says when they settle inside Tony’s car.

Tony glances her way, a soft smile gracing his lips. She wonders if this smile is the same smile he gives Steve. She hopes so.

“I love you too.”

She’s heard this admission one, two, many times before. And yet, it doesn’t stop her heart from skipping at the warmth and the gentleness in his tone.

This time, however, it doesn’t settle the flare of jealousy and insecurity brimming inside of her. And since she can’t help herself, she lets it boil over.

“You love Steve too.”

Tony stills, the smile slipping off her face.

Jan swallows, her eyes trained on her hands in her lap, bracing herself. “I see the way you look at him, the way he looks at you. You’ve been pining for each other for years and if you—”

“He has Sharon now,” he answers flatly.

“Still. Doesn’t change the fact that he loves you.”

He frowns. “Where are you going with this?”

There’s an edge to his tone, one that tells her that she’s fucked up.

Maybe this is it. Maybe this is when Tony finally realizes that Steve’s his true love, when Tony throws the car door open and runs to be with the one he’s meant to be with, when Tony decides that their second chance was a mistake.

She should’ve kept him all those years ago. God, she really should’ve. She should’ve—

“Babe, I need you to—” Calloused fingers brush under her chin, Tony tentatively brushing it with his thumb. “Hey, look at me.”

With a sharp intake of breath, she steels herself and does what he says.

Tony’s jaw is tight and his bright blue eyes are aflame, like he has something to prove. It’s a reasonable reaction, expected even. But then she gives him another look and sees everything else – the softness behind the fire, the ghosted touch against her skin, the light blush tinting his cheeks.

“There’s always be a part of me who loves Steve. No matter what. I don’t think I can deny that part of my anymore. But— Hey, babe. Listen. Look at me.”

Again, she does so and freezes because god, his eyes are so _blue_.

The nerves behind Tony’s smile eases a little as he continues to worry her chin with his thumb. “Sure, I love Steve. I won’t deny— Hey, look at me. But he’s not the one I’m in love with, the one I picture myself spending the rest of my life with. _You’re_ the one I’m in love with. _You’re_ the one I want to live the rest of my life with.”

Just like that, all the air in Jan’s lungs dissipates. “Tony—”

Tony smiles. “It’s the truth. Honest truth. You make me feel whole. You make me happier than I’ve ever been in a long time. Hell, I don’t think I’ve felt this happy. Ever. Being with you makes me so fucking happy. I love you. You’re everything good in this world.”

“But Steve—”

“Steve is nothing compared to you.”

That earnest and genuine admission alone is what pushes her into action, sealing her lips with his. As always, his lips are soft and pliant, tasting of coffee and promises. His fingers trail upwards, his palm resting against her cheek as he returns the gesture with the most warmth and affection she’s ever experienced.

He loves her. Fuck, he _loves_ her.

She’s totally taking Sharon to her personal tailor after this.

“Wow,” Jan breathes when they break apart, her cheeks warm and her heart in her throat. “Imagine calling Captain America a nothing. You better hope no one’s listening to this conversation because let me tell you, you’re screwed otherwise.”

Tony grins, a hint of mischief behind his eyes. “Anything for you, Miss van Dyne.” His smile fades, leaning back into his seat. “But really, if anyone that should be—”

She shakes her head, reaching over to give his calloused palm a reassuring squeeze. “Tony, no. There’s no deserving here. You are enough for me. You make me happy, happier than I’ve ever felt in a long time. I love you too.”

Hope flashes behind his eyes. “Yeah?”

Jan nods, her own stinging. “Yeah.”

The smile she gets in return is both warm and heart-wrenching.

Jan hates seeing Tony like this, hates the demons and self-loathing plaguing him. She knows it’s why he never tried making a move on Steve all these years.

Obviously, it’s all bullshit, but it’s something they need to revisit soon. That and her own insecurities too. In fact, they definitely need to talk a lot of things out.

Not tonight though. Tonight, all she wants to do is curl up next to Tony on the couch, ridicule the shitty soap operas on-screen and later fall asleep in each other’s arms. And judging by Tony’s expression, he seems to feel the same.

“Hey,” she begins, “you mind if I crash at your place tonight? It’s kinda late and your place is nearer—”

Tony’s lips tug to the side, cocking an eyebrow. “Janet van Dyne, are you propositioning me?”

Jan smirks. “And what if I am?”

His other eyebrow arches. “Nadia isn’t expecting you, is she? ‘Cause as much as I’d love to have you over, I would like to be alive to, you know, date you.”

Jan laughs, snaking her arm around his. “As long as you bring me back to her in one piece, she’ll be fine.”

Tony chuckles as the car roars to life. “Well then. She has nothing to worry about.”

**Author's Note:**

> You can reblog this on Tumblr [here](https://nethandrake.tumblr.com/post/629426492128018432/those-nights).
> 
> Come holler at me on [Tumblr](https://nethandrake.tumblr.com/) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/kapteniron). I'd love to hear what y'all thought! :D


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